


For life

by darkrogue1 (Lily_Haydee_Lohdisse)



Category: Kyou Kara Maou!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-06-01
Updated: 2007-06-01
Packaged: 2018-07-29 14:31:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7688083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lily_Haydee_Lohdisse/pseuds/darkrogue1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yuuri is worried about the length of relationships.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For life

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Inspired by things I saw the week before writing it:  
> \- byakuya_chan's "Letter on the wall" (MurataxYuuri with a side one-sided Conrad declaration)  
> \- moshesque's icon "For the rest of my life"  
> \- Yoshitsune drama series (end episode 7): when Shanao first refuses to take Gohei as a vassal ("Sore wa uke dekinu")
> 
> AN2: I apologise in advance, I included a bad joke in what would be the Japanese dialog… It might not make laugh anyone but me, but... Well, if you don’t find it funny, just ignore it.
> 
> Beta-read by hisoka44

  
Yuuri was concerned. A few days before, Conrad had inadvertently declared his love. Well, this was not what upset Yuuri ; on the contrary, he had been delighted at the news.  
  
During one of their conversations, they had drifted on the subject of long-term relationships and Yuuri had been wistful. Conrad had only meant to cheer him up, really… and he had reminded him that he would gladly serve him for the rest of his life. Yuuri had looked up at him sharply then: he had been following an entirely different thought, and he had been ready to tell Conrad that he meant love relationships when he stopped and reconsidered.  
  
Something strange had passed on Conrad’s face then, at Yuuri’s reaction. Panic and pain, before a mask of normality set up again in the blink of an eye. Then Yuuri knew for sure that Conrad had been thinking along the same line as himself.  
  
"Because you love me, right ?" Yuuri had jumped right in. He had needed the confirmation. His heart told him he was right, his memory confirmed a thousand little details, he even had had suspicions before. This was why he could not let this occasion pass, he could simply not let it become a brush on the never uncovered truth.  
  
Conrad had not denied it, and Yuuri hoped his overjoyed smile and following words had convinced the other half-demon he cared deeply for him as well.  
  
But then they had been interrupted, and the subject had not been brought up since.  
  
Conrad loved him, the fact was wonderful. However a dark cloud still hung over Yuuri’s happiness ; he could not help but still hear the other man’s words in his head.  
  
"For the rest of my life…"  
  
Conrad was ready to stay by his side for the rest of his life. Conrad loved him that much. Yuuri felt skittish.  
  
What if he was not enough for Conrad ? Not good enough for him ?  
  
For life was a long time, and in Conrad’s case it was a very long time. He had a lived a century already! Anyway… Yuuri felt very insecure. Suddenly an ever-lasting relationship seemed something very dangerous to wish for.  
  
He could not help but ask himself questions: how could Conrad be so sure ? Besides Conrad always put a point of honour in keeping his word… Did it mean he would follow through with it even if he noticed he did not really like Yuuri after a while ? This particular thought sent cold shivers down Yuuri’s spine… It was frightening. At the same time, if Conrad believed something like that would never happen… Yuuri found that thought frightening as well, but differently. How could Yuuri live up to that, and never disappoint him ?  
  
Yuuri was not sure enough of himself.  
  
So Yuuri went to find the soldier to share his fears and worries with him, because Conrad deserved to know them. Conrad deserved the truth.  
  
When he had approached the man with this particular problem, Yuuri had gone reluctantly. He felt so inadequate, he feared so much Conrad would change his mind and not deem him worthy of his love.  
  
Conrad’s greeting and smile managed to lift all that gloom.  
  
Yuuri found himself wondering how it was possible that the light in those particular eyes could make his heart and spirits soar like this. Conrad always listened and Yuuri always felt safe in his company, so he just began and spoke his mind.  
  
Conrad gently listened to his explaining of his fears, but never let him get far enough to finish his apology for being inadequate.  
  
"You will disappoint me." Conrad’s words were blunt, and his tone was not as gentle as it could be when he interrupted the young man. "We will both be hurt."  
  
Then he put a steadying hand on Yuuri’s shoulder and smiled reassuringly. "This is how life is, Yuuri. Every relationship has the potential to hurt, and it is normal that it does sometimes. How could we enjoy the good times if there were no bad time ? How would we even recognise them ?"  
  
"They are normal and you should not fear them," he went on. "You should be thankful as you recognise the good times and just enjoy them."  
  
Conrad’s smile was slightly embarrassed as he finished. "If you find it in your heart to start sharing a life with me, I can only promise you to do my best for you, so that your bad times won’t last."  
  
Yuuri felt calmer after Conrad’s reassurance, but he still had another worry.  
  
"What if you fall out of love with me ?" Yuuri blurted out. "And then… and then maybe fall in love with someone else… you wouldn‘t stay, would you ?" Yuuri frowned fearfully. "Or would you try and hide it from me ?"  
  
Conrad was surprised at Yuuri’s question, and did not find his words easily. "I hope not…" he whispered. Could something like this even be possible ?  
  
"What would you do then ?" Yuuri insisted pleadingly. "Would you stay with me even if you were unhappy ? Would you cheat on me, or leave me ?"  
  
For once Conrad did not have the answer that would placate his king’s mind. "I don't know, Yuuri," he said softly. "What about you ?"  
  
Yuuri stilled suddenly. He had not even considered the fact that Conrad might have the same worries: Conrad was always so…assured.  
  
"I’d tell you," he murmured, turning away his head in shame. "I wouldn’t do anything without talking about it with you."  
  
And Yuuri shivered when Conrad spoke with a sombre voice, echoing his thoughts. "You still haven‘t told Wolfram."  
  
Yuuri hung his head low. He knew it was not fair to the blond demon, but he still was not sure of what he should do. He mumbled it.  
  
Conrad put a forgiving hand on his arm again. "I know. Sorry." Then he smiled, wanting to reassure the young man. "You know, Yuuri, if it does ever happen, I would still be very happy, because it would mean you accepted me in the first place."  
  
At that Yuuri’s head perked up.  
  
"And what if I don’t want to accept you ?" (1) He asked impishly.  
  
In the time it took for Yuuri to finish his question, Conrad exactly knew his answer. If Yuuri decided to stay with Wolfram, or just not to be with Conrad, he would just want Yuuri to tell him clearly.  
  
"Then, at least…" (2) He started… then his mind followed a totally unexpected track and he stopped, putting an embarrassed smile on, nearly blushing.  
  
Yuuri laughed then a clear joyful laugh.  
  
"Yes." He knew he needed to be clear on his intention, else it would not be fair to Conrad either. He moved forward to give Conrad a hug.  
  
"But it goes both ways," he whispered at the older man’s ear. "If I accept you, you must accept me too."  
  
Yuuri felt reassured. His decision might not be very firm yet, but it certainly seemed he had found the right path.  
  
  
  
\-------------  
  
  
  
  
(1) Yuuri: Sore de, **uke** hoshikunai nara ?  
(2) Conrad: Dja... **seme** te...


End file.
